Assalamualaikum wr wb
everybody has a story, own history, own past, Me neither..
Day by day has passed since my life started crumbling down. a days, a weeks, a months even a years has passed since my life condition took everything away from me : my days, my dreams , my happiness, my soul even my smile.
At first, I thought losing it all was easy. I thought it means I am
finally free from all the stress I couldn’t handle on life back
then. I thought I finally got the chance to do anything I want, to
pursue my passion and my dreams. and now, I realize I was
wrong. It was not easy at all. Losing it all crushed me inside and out.
It took away my hope. I began to think that I am destined to failure, like I have done so.
It took away my spirit. this chapter took away my courage to
meet or communicate people, resulting in a lonely and depressed me.
It took away my passion. I get used to feeling depressed that I forget how to feel happy and passionate, forget to love others even forget how to love myself.
And the most dangerous of all, it took away my will to live. At the lowest point, I even prayed to God to take away my life.
But this is not the end. This is not the end at all.
Nowadays, I feel better than I used to. Even though I still
have some problems, I rarely hear sounds in my head, i heard someone cryin in my head always come everynight and everyday which has been huge
problems for these few years or so. I began to get better control of my
mind and my heart, my soul although sometimes I still lose it.
But I am positive. I will get better. I will get stronger. I need to get better and stronger.
Here are a few things that keeps me positive and keeps my fighting spirit alive :
First. I am very grateful for the blessings that I have, which has
descended from heaven in the form of endless support from family and
friends. When I feel depressed, I got friends that
cheer me up and put a smile in my dull face. I want to repay their
kindness and I will not let their efforts be in vain.
Second. I have dreams. It’s time to reignite those dreams. Even
though I have to start from the bottom again, even though I have
experienced failure, even though I have lost a lot of time and effort
previously, I have to rise up and start pursuing those dreams. For it
was our dreams that makes us special.
Third, and the most important of all, is Allah Swt..yeah, we got everything from Him, so,,when you loose something you love the most, one thing u have to do is be Ikhlas, thats what Allah will. I always beleieve HE always create a good story for all human in this world, life is a drama..we are an actor and he's a director.
For all the things i've been through, im so thankful..those things and those people are sent by God to teach me how to be a better person, learn from everything..Now, lets forgive and forget,lets live our life with God direction, keep up your smile and lets run to chasing a rainbow, and Bismillah.. i believe theres always another day in paradise :)